Being alone is one thing, but feeling alone is a whole new story in itself.
Being alone sucks, well… it used to for me, but loneliness is a blessing.
How you deal and use loneliness to your time and advantage will either make you alone or feel alone.
Feeling Alone 4 Secrets To Use Loneliness To Your Advantage
These are the top 4 advantages you can manipulate if you are feeling alone which will, in turn, make you lonely but that doesn’t mean you have to be feeling alone:
- Learn how to love yourself.
- Being alone gives you time to learn
- Start a business or do what you love.
- Friends/family, cure or poison?
1. Learn How To Love Yourself
How long can the average being go being alone? My uncle has lived alone for almost 20 years I believe; he loves it, it just depends on who you are, but most of us are not that fortunate.
There was a time when I went out with my friends… almost every single day, I kid you not; we drank, smoke, laugh, and played until we have had our fills. Those were some of the best moments that I’ve experienced. I yearned to be with them every day and for 3 years, that’s exactly what I did.
Those time may have brought forth happiness, joy, pleasure, and cherished times yet not one of it brought me growth or maturity. You see, I was so caught up being around friends and people that the moment I was alone (their visa expired or they left due to new jobs and families moving); I felt miserable, confused, and a part of life was missing from me. They weren’t coming back and finding new friends would be a challenge in itself.
So to pass the time, I just played video-games every day and watched movies; this lasted for almost a year! There was only one thing I could do. I had to learn how to love myself and enjoy my own presence and body.
The above link will give you the full scoop on how to love oneself but here’s the rundown. Learning to love yourself is no easy matter. Just like learning a new language, it takes time. I mean really loving yourself, not just hey I like my eyes or yeah my lips are nice. No, I mean every single 37.2 trillion cells in your existence!
I had defects about my physical appearance and a whole lot more mentally. It’s been almost 1 year, and throughout that journey, I have learned to accept myself for who I am and improve myself. People work for years, day after day to buy their dream car or home.
I workout 5 times a week, ate mostly fruit and vegetables (I’m a vegetarian), sleep 7-8 hours every night, drank 100+ of pure water each day, stayed positive no matter what, work on my goals, and so forth. Like I said, it took about 1 year to get to that mentality and be consistent.
Now how long can this last; that all depends on me (you). But it felt liberating. My new friend was… me.
This one body that I was given; I had neglected it for so many years through smoking, drinking, staying up late, eating whatever that tasted good, and other personal matters that I do not wish to disclose. However when I realized that external factors like family, friends, and the outside world can only bring so much joy and happiness yet it could eventually turn into sorrow and misery at any moment. Our friends come and go: families die, move, and divorce is still at 50%, foods and drinks can bring pleasure but at the cost of health, but you;
How? Like I stated, find love and happiness within your mind, body, and spirit. So what if someone closed to you died. My biological father abandon me before I took my first breath, around 46 million people are in slavery today, life is far from perfect and will remain that way as long as evil people exist.
That is why one should always look to the bright side if one is fortunate to possess such a luxury.
My circumstances forced me to love myself and find happiness within otherwise the path I was on was ultimately going to lead me to self-destruction and a foreseeable grey future. Most of my other articles, I always mention meditation as the answer to most problem. When I found out how life-changing meditating was; I hop onto the wagon instantly!
So last thing, learn how to love yourself more than anyone on this Earth in this life and the next because you will experience a whole new life when you realize this and the feeling of loneliness will forever be no more.
2. Being Alone Gives You Time To Learn
What is the one thing that most of us do when we are alone? Whatever it is, it’s usually up to no good. One could be thinking about a hopeless nonexistent future, causing havoc or mischief to themselves or the environment, or something useless: like smoking weed, drinking, watching TV, or not spending your time wisely.
Being alone should not be a bad thing: moose, bears, tiger, leopards, foxes, skunks, and many species are loners. You don’t see them whining under a tree or complaining about how bad they have it. Humans have evolved unlike any other species in this world.
Whether that was through evolution or the will of God, it is for certain that we have become weak and pathetic.
Communication and being with one another is vital. It has been in our DNA since the creation of mankind. We work, get marry, have a family, rinse and repeat. Do you see how it’s just one big infinite loop?
We indulge ourselves in hours of watching TV, check facebook and instagram automatically 50 times a day to see what our family and friends are doing, relax and take a break on the weekend because we “deserve” it, etc. But where is the self-growth and self-nurtured in this?!
Do what makes you happy checking facebook or having a beer with the boys/girls, but when this becomes a constant mind controlling routine, then that is when it becomes toxic. We are comfortable doing 9-5, 5 days a week and the 2 other days to splurge on all the pleasures that humankind can endure.
The media, our environment, and life as a whole have become this one big social media planet where everyone needs to know what everyone else is doing and getting involved in personal matters that have no significance to us. Most of us do this every single day without realizing how dangerous this is and what better time to do this than when one is alone!
No wonder there are so many average people in this world. They don’t know how to manage their time wisely or appropriately. They want to be “comfortable” because a little bit of extra knowledge is painful.
What happened to the great minds of our times like Ben Frank, Tom Edison, Elon Musk, Bill Gates, etc. Oh, they still exist, but only a few and they are the most successful, wealthiest, and well-known. Didn’t loneliness get in their way, no, absolutely not!
They learn and educated themselves and their minds so that one day when they look back at their lives, they found success, accomplishments, and most importantly, living life without a single regret even if it means going through a lifetime of pain and hardship. The single most important moment in your entire existence can be sum up in one second, your last.
People, being alone gives you so much time to learn and make a difference unto yourselves. Stop trying to waste your life hanging out with friends or people that may or may not even care about you or being stuck to your phone. We are not machines or programmed beings, we have free will, but 95% of us don’t know how to control it. Go out, enjoy a little but leave some time to educate and fill your mind with wisdom and knowledge, you will thank yourself in the future.
3. Start A Business or Do What You Love
Yup, that’s what I did. In fact, I opened 4 businesses, 2 of which failed epically yet I learned and gained a vast amount of knowledge as opposed to just watching TV or playing with my phone which would have amounted to literally nothing.
If you have a big family or have multiple jobs, then you shouldn’t be alone, yet you may feel lonely, especially if you’re doing it all by yourself. That’s why put step 1 into practice.
You know what gets me through the hard times? My purpose in life. Not only do I ponder about my success in the future but I am working on it every day as well. It keeps my mind sharp and healthy instead of wandering into a place that only leads to stress and worries. After all 85% of the things, we worry about never happen!
Reading a book is a wonderful choice, perhaps learning a new language, even helping others can be a delight. Maybe you aren’t really lonely just bored? Try one of these activities to make great use of your time.
People naturally have to do something, all the time. Eating, working out, sleeping, listening to music, etc.
There’s this room in Minnesota that was purposely designed to be super quiet, -9.4dBA. No one alive has lasted for more than 45 minutes in that room. That goes to show you that humans are naturally active and vibrant beings.
But that time will come when there’s no one but you. How will you deal with the feeling of being alone?
Start a business, it takes at least 2-3 years for your business to grow and see success (if you put in the work) yet many fear risk but without risk, there can be no reward. If you’re not a risk taker, then do something that you love that has some benefit to your well being.
Smoking cigarettes or weed, drinking, watching TV, talking on the phone about useless Sh!%, and the likes don’t mature or grow you. It may do more harm than you realize if done daily.
Procrastination, oh boy. This guy is Thanos, but instead of destroying lives, he destroys hopes and dreams, in the trillions! 1 year or 5 years from now when you look back at your accomplishments; do you see something that brings meaning and value or do you see emptiness?
Like Confucius said, “It does not matter how many steps you take, as long as you don’t stop.” Families and friends aren’t going to build your dreams or hopes, only you can.
When I was starting my businesses, I honestly felt lonely and was alone, but you know what? If I hadn’t done anything, I wouldn’t be where I am today, overseas: living and doing what I love.
There were countless times when I wanted to give up and prayed that a miracle would come.
So if you still believe you have it hard and feel lonely then try being one of those 40 million slaves and see how your life really is. You have the fortunate opportunity to create the exact life you dream of. Yes, you will have to work ruthlessly and put in thousands of restless nights, however only you can make your dreams happen, no one will and no one cares about your dreams but you.
4. Friends/Family, Cure or Poison?
Family and friends, basically the same, are said to be held in the highest regard when it comes to life. Without families or friends, life would be a little incomplete, and yet to others family and friends are everything. Humans feel close and complete when we are with loved ones; it’s what makes us humans.
We feel safe and secure. That feeling which we have felt since childhood til now begins to surge through our veins and body as if everything seems right even if it’s not.
The thought of separation can be just as painful as literal separation itself. I was adopted when I was 6, left my American family when I turned 18, lived alone for 2 years, so I know the feeling of loneliness in its full manifestation.
Although it may seem sweet and warm, going out with friends and talking to families (if you don’t live with them) almost every day can be unhealthy, to your dreams. Think for a moment here, how many thousands of hours have you given to your family and friends? Maybe not much and maybe a whole lot.
They are the antidote to our loneliness for the majority because we can’t find time or companionship within ourselves.
When your friend leaves you, the love of your life is gone, your closest relative is no more; who is going to grab your hand and lift you up from the dark abyss? The one and only, you. You must have absolute love, faith, confidence, trust, hope, joy, and every single feeling that we humans can experience unto yourself.
Humans depend on others too much and outside factors because the world has made you believe it to be so! Our world is changing, and not for the better; a world of lust, vanity, selfishness, and greed that subconsciously tells us that we can not find love or pleasure within ourselves.
Education truly is the most beautiful gift yet we are blinded by the sins of this world because what is easy is the norm and what is hard is bad. Surrendering yourself to others and money is easier than surrendering to yourself.
To achieve something great: pain, sacrifice, time, and effort are required, and if so then 95% of us want nothing to do with it.
Very few men/women in this world live the life they dream of because they are willing to do whatever it takes even if it means sacrificing what means the most to others, spending time with families and friends (I’m not talking about abandoning them).
Thank you for your time and may you find everlasting joy and companionship within yourselves because